Today Franklin Graham's Decision America Tour stops in my state of South Carolina. I've had it written on my calendar for weeks. Thousands of Bible-believing Christians will gather on the steps of our state capitol building to pray for our nation and seek God's face to ask for forgiveness and restoration of our country. I have invited everyone I know. It is an event that I've been counting down the days to in my mind. I made arrangements for my mom to babysit my younger kids so I could take my oldest two. But now that the day has arrived, we are staying home.
Last Thursday, I began feeling sick. Was it food poisoning? The stomach bug? I had several things scheduled on this week's calendar including the prayer rally which I did not want to miss. Why would the Lord let our family get sick now? My one-year-old Sully had vaccination shots last Monday and by Wednesday, he had started throwing up. I attributed it to the shots and believed we would not all be getting sick. The next day, that Thursday I was also feeling nauseous. My oldest two, Philip and Braewyn, mentioned their stomachs hurting too but I was mentally determined that we were attending the prayer rally so kind of dismissed it.
All symptoms pointed to food poisoning for me. You can make anything appear as you want if you only look for the things you're looking for, right? I thought we could go ahead with our already made plans. Then the Lord threw another curve ball. Reading through my BSF lesson notes on Sunday afternoon, I came to this statement.
"Are you more excited by seeing a famous, man or woman, even in the Christian world, than by the message he or she gives?" (lesson 17, page 5)
Jesus was telling me like it was. I had gotten caught up in the hype of the rally more than wanting to be there for the sake of praying. I have been receiving mailings and viewing the online photos from the first four rallies at other states. I was considering what kind of posters we could make to possibly be photographed and appear in an upcoming publication. I thought if someone from the Decision America Tour saw the kids with me, I could tell them how we are tracking the events as they travel around the country. That would surely make it into an upcoming "Decision" magazine article. I was going to attend this prayer rally for all the wrong reasons.
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7
Yesterday morning, I began seeking God personally and asking for forgiveness for my own heart's condition. This tour is a nation-wide event calling out to God to heal our nation. If we come to Him in any manner other than complete humility, He will know. There is a lot at stake. I cannot account for the motives of any one else in attendance, but I know my heart was not where it should be. After confessing my pride over selfish reasons for attending, I began to ask if we should still attend. This is a chance for Christians to be counted in large groups in standing for the Gospel message in America. Franklin Graham himself had been sending mass emails asking for Christians to stand with him in this effort. Now that my heart was right before God, should we still go?
Sometimes when the answer seems to be an easy yes, God is still God and we are not. I had repented but with sin comes consequences. My heart is fickle and there is still a good chance that the tour bus, the crowds and cameras would have brought me back to that place of "Wow! I'm really here in the midst of all the excitement!" I'm stubborn and so He needed to give me a definite no. My daugther Braewyn confirmed to me that she did in deed have a stomach bug. When it comes down to it, I am a Christian first, Mommy second and prayer rally attender somewhere down the list. We will be staying home today so I can care for my children who need me most. At noon, we will pray for our nation as that is the point of the Decision America Tour after all.
God teaches us things in all sorts of ways. Some through encouraging friends, some through a harsh slap of reality. I trust Him always.
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