I thank you, blog readers, for hanging on and still checking on me to see if there might be a new post! Time is limited these days and so my perfectionism keeps me away from the blog telling me I can't post something worthy of reading in ten minutes time. Well, I'm going to try again to disagree with that lie. Things are hectic with homeschooling Philip and Braewyn, caring for Juliet in the mix, and maintaining a level of cleanliness in the kitchen and laundry departments. However, some things are important even if there are no associated pictures.
Over the last several years, I have juggled in my mind big thoughts regarding children and God's plan. I know for sure that God's plans are good even if they seem hard (Romans 8:28). I know for sure that God is good and loving and faithful (1 John 4:16; Psalm 86:15). These thoughts were persuaded by getting to know two large families (7 and 9 children!) who joined our church and by also watching Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar's family's TV show "19 Kids and Counting" (yes, they have 19 children!). All three of these families are seeking the Lord's will for their lives in all areas. I desire to know God as fully as I can and I believe trusting Him fully is part of that. My favorite Bible verses for many years (since college) have been Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."
All that said, when Juliet was approaching her first birthday last February, Matthew and I began discussing what should come next. Three children is a big responsibility so I truly wasn't not wanting another baby at that time. However, I was being drawn to a desire of trusting God's plan for my life over my opinions of how I would like things to be. Matthew and I decided that we would leave the opportunity for one more baby (yes, Matthew doesn't have hopes of matching those large families but saw four children as do-able) to the Lord's discretion. Most people are scared of going without birth control, but with or without, God is the one who decides and creates each new life. We've all heard of people unable to have children and others who have conceived while using birth control.
So anyway, I entered this new chapter of our lives (not trying for a baby, but not proactively stopping it) with fear and trepidation. I knew I had a kidney stone hanging in the bay which would not be fun to encounter while pregnant so I was honestly walking by faith that God would work things out if I just left the ball in His court. March, April, May, June, and July pass and I began thinking maybe the Lord knows that three children are what I can handle and so no more are coming. I won't lie - that sounded pretty good! Three children do make for a lot of laundry to wash and meals to prepare.
A Sunday morning in August found me in major pain and Matthew driving me to the ER. That kidney stone began to move and by week's end, it had miraculously disappeared (see two posts ago for the full story). Matthew casually commented the next morning, "Well, now if you get pregnant, you won't have to worry about that kidney stone."
Let me jump forward a month and end the suspense. A few things nudged me in the direction of taking a pregnancy test on September 30. Surprise, IT WAS POSITIVE! The Lord has blessed us with a new little Brooks to be born on or around June 3, 2013. That date seems SO far off, but it provides me plenty of time to get some more things in order (meal plans and weekly chore schedules nailed down) or so I hope. We are all excited to find out who this little person will be and how he/she will change our family dynamic. I'll try to keep you more regularly posted!
(The caption for my title picture could now be "Juliet, you're going to be a big sister!")