Teaching Your Children to BLESS and not CURSE Each Other (HS Conf.)

With the upcoming delivery of our fourth child, I was very excited to attend this seminar about easing sibling rivalry and ways to draw them closer to each other.  Rachael Carman is a homeschool mom of 7 so I think she's a reliable source for this info.

[According to Rachael...]
Public School Priorities:  1. Knowing facts  2. Finding facts  3. Relationships
Homeschool Priorities: (should be the reverse) 1. Relationships  2. Finding facts  3. Knowing facts

Proverbs 6:16-19 "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community."
-- Whatever kids are saying (rudeness to mom, dad, siblings) reflects the matter of the heart.
-- if not getting along with siblings, no playing with friends.  If not the sibling God wants you to be, you can't be the friend you should be.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him."
-- Choose life!
-- Kids treat each other like how mom and dad treat each other.
-- When kids are getting along, that is their testimony.

** The Culture's Norm
C. Cruel Words
U. Ugly Words (not Phil. 4:8)
R. Rude Words - disrespect, rough, tone of voice, grace-less
S. Selfish - greedy for attention, ego-centric
E. Embarrassing Words - kids tell stories about each other, putting down
-- do not allow "hate" to be spoken; lone and hate are not passive. Hating things leads to hating people.  We should be praying for them. Don't hate; just don't like it.

James 3:10-11 "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?"
Matthew 12:34 "You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

** The Lord's Standard
B. Beneficial to all who hear - Eph. 4:29 "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Prov. 13:3 "Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin."
L. Loving - 1 Corinthians 13; include smiling; moms need to practice smiling at kids and kissing daddy with a smiling face too!
E. Encouraging - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Comforting words; includes providing hope of Heaven.
S. Sacrificial - Phil. 2:1-4; What can I do for you? Think about what they want; model it and serve them.
S. Smile!!!  Prov. 15:13 "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit."

Miscellaneous...
-- These paths are contagious, either curses or blessing.s
-- Sometimes let children trade chores to bless each other.
-- Make them get along with little to glorify God.
-- When fighting during school, close books and address heart conditions.
-- Tone matters in saying good and bad things.
--Don't settle for good outside actions and words, but deal with the heart.
-- I.e. "God made you oldest; God made you the first born girl; etc." Older ones help encourage younger ones but older ones need to earn it by loving and spending time with them.  Can't always correct. 
-- If want rules to work in the house, must establish relationship first.
*** For homeschool days, invest in youngest to oldest; for family life, discipline oldest to youngest.
-- Each child is providentially and sovereignly placed in birth order by God.
*** We have an opportunity to show the world what God intended when He created family.
-- Focus more on hearts this year than books.
-- Enemy wants siblings to not like each other.   

Six-year-old sweetie and newborn cutie!

Birthdays are a special time in our family and during May we celebrated two special birthdays.

 

 

On May 2nd, Braewyn turned 6 years old!  Six means you are no longer a little kid but officially elementary age and turning more into an independent individual every day.  It's been a joy to watch Braewyn grow and I think it will be even more exciting over the next several years.  She is quite head-strong, but I think that's a great asset as I believe Braewyn will be a leader instead of a follower.  She's our little princess who does not want to be called cute or even pretty, but awesome and cool instead.  She does like her Barbies but says her favorite color is blue and not pink.  She's a wonderful girl and a loving "Sissy" to her sister and brothers...

If you haven't heard, the baby in my belly was born on May 19th and we'd like to introduce Rylan Judah!  I was actually due on June 3rd, but after having contractions all day on Saturday, May 18th, Matthew and I decided to drive to the hospital at 10pm, leaving at home Philip, Braewyn and Juliet with Grandma Ruth Ann.  I wasn't sure if I would be admitted as the contractions weren't that bad and coming every 10-15 minutes apart. Once in triage, the monitor said my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart so I was admitted.  Moving into the labor and delivery room, my nurse said my obstetrician would like to break my water but she was telling him no.  I thanked her and said my main request was to get a nap sometime before the baby was born!  I tried to get comfortable in the bed while Matthew slept over on the sofa/bed built into the wall.  Around 2:00am, I decided it was probably a good time for the epidural as I was dilated to around 5cm.  That procedure went very well despite the nerves that creep up when getting a big needle stuck into your back.  After that I tried to relax but was fighting off more nerves wondering if my OB would break my water or not.  Closer to 5:00am, the nurse said the OB decided to go to sleep for a while and just let me rest too.  That was what I needed to hear and I did sleep soundly until around 6:30am.  At that time, Pitocin was started to keep things moving and the contractions got pretty bad.  I asked for more pain medication and the anesthesiologist said he didn't want to dull all my pain.  I told him I understood but needed more to take the edge off.  Once the epidural was increased, I almost immediately felt the need to push.  They thought I was still around 8cm, but then the nurse began to call for back-up.  Matthew knew the baby was coming quickly the way everyone began to get things in high gear.  My OB made it in and I pushed through two contractions.  After the first set of pushes, I did have a quick moment of fear and asked, "Is it stuck?!"  Matthew reassured me that the baby's head was almost out.  Next set of pushes and Rylan was born!  I don't remember seeing him as I heard Matthew say we had a boy, but I do remember seeing the tear roll down Matthew's cheek.  It was a wonderful moment.

Our life will be forever changed as of that moment, now being the parents of two boys and two girls!  Rylan, you are only 14 days old and already we love you SO MUCH!!

 

You might be able to tell who gets the MOST excited holding her new baby brother!!!