A Blessing from My Hospital Visit

Life is just downright busy.  I think most of you know but in case you missed it, Matthew and I are expecting Baby Brooks #6 in January.  Very excited but no time to post monthly updates on my pregnancy like I may have done for Baby #2 or #3.  I am now 33 weeks along and feeling VERY pregnant.  I've been awarded with entrance to an even more Advanced Maternal Age category for women over age 40.  I am really soooo appreciative!  Any how I had an OB check up on Monday of this week.  Matthew would meet me there for the appointment so I brought Juliet, Rylan and Sully but left Philip and Braewyn at home as I was thinking I'd be gone no more than 1 1/2  hours.

After being on the NST monitor for about 35 minutes and being told the baby looks great, I saw one of the doctors.  Dr. Allen delivered Sully so it was fun for her to see him again at almost 2 years old.  She asked how I was doing.  My answer is usually, "I think I'll make it." But I also added that my left leg swells while my right leg just feels numb.  I wonder if it's because I carry Sully on my left hip when I do carry him.  She looked a little concerned and said, "It really could just be due to the pregnancy, but it could be a blood clot.  Thankfully our bodies clot more readily when pregnant so we don't bleed out during delivery.  But I just can't let you go another day without knowing for sure if your leg swelling is from a clot or not.  I want you to have a vascular scan today so I'll call in a referral."

Ok.  Not what I expected from this appointment but the idea of a blood clot really didn't worry me.  I'm sure it could be easily handled.  Now we just had 2 kids at home and 3 young ones with us and I was told to go to the hospital.  I drove the little ones and Matthew followed me over to the hospital parking lot.  We parked outside the cancer center as it's next to the heart center where I was told to enter.  By this time Sully was asleep in the car so I asked Matthew if he would just stay in the van with the kids and I'd go in alone.  Let them watch YouTube on your phone!

Into the hospital I walked and was instructed to take the elevator up a floor, walk down the hall, turn at the end and enter the surgery admission and waiting area.  The hospital.  This hospital.  I had not been inside since June of 2015 when Dad spent 2 weeks in Neuro ICU and then his last three days in Pallative Care.  When I arrived in the waiting area, it brought back a flood of memories.  I did not want to be here!

I gave the receptionist my form and she asked for some additional information.  Then I sat down to wait.  Thirty minutes before, being in the hospital was not even a thought and here I was back where I never wanted to be.

Being pregnant and knowing a delivery was in the future, I've had an underlying dread of going to the hospital.  My mom told me at one point that she didn't know if she could bear coming to the hospital to see the baby without my Dad.  I didn't know if I could bear lying in a hospital bed with monitors hooked to me and remembering seeing Dad in his bed.  Being a patient of any kind did not bring happy thoughts.

But here I was sitting in the waiting area which was where we sat (or very similar to) while waiting to hear the outcome of Dad's brain surgery.  I didn't know if I should just cry out to Jesus for comfort for my breaking heart or text several friends to pray for me.  After a few minutes of silently praying, I decided to tell the receptionist that I would be right back if my name was called because I had to take my key down to my husband outside.   A few minutes of fresh air was what I needed now.

Matthew had pulled up to the outside door once I called to tell him I was on my way down.  I didn't know how long the wait for my procedure would be so I encouraged him to take the younger kids home and relieve the older two of their "home alone" status.  He gave me his key to our other car so I would be able to drive myself home.  Reaching for the key I said, "Please pray for me as being up there in the same waiting area where we were when Dad was here is freaking me out." Tears filled my eyes and my voice cracked.

Walking back inside I didn't make eye contact with the people I passed.  Thankfully after arriving back in the waiting room, my name was called about 15 minutes later.  My ultrasound technician Catherine was so very nice.  She assured me I had no blood clots.  Praise Jesus!  We chatted about other things... this being my 6th pregnancy, her never feeling the desire to have children, people who say whatever is on their minds about both situations and how I said goodbye to my Dad in this hospital summer before last.  I told her about my hesistancy to come to the hospital since Dad passed away but how being there today took the sting out of thinking about coming back to have the baby.  Saying goodbye to her, I heard a sound I've always liked to hear at the hospital.  Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star playing over the intercom.

When a baby is delivered at our hospital, a member of the family can push a button on the wall of the Labor and Delivery area and this well known tune plays throughout the hospital.  I had heard it play three times while there for my vascular scan.  God was telling me that good things, miraculous things do happen here.  Not only sad things.  I have delivered five beautiful, healthy babies in this hospital.  It will be devastating knowing Dad won't be coming to meet his newest grandchild when I deliver this baby.  Even still God told me that day when I unexpectedly went to the hospital about a possible blood clot that when the day comes for me to deliver this newest little blessing, it will be a happy day.  No more fear of returning to that same hospital for the first time since Dad passed away.  I've now been there, done that.  Next time Matthew and I will enter Labor and Delivery.  And Lord-willing our children will push that little button to announce to everyone in the hospital their new little brother or sister was born.  I pray others in the hospital that day hear Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star and are also reminded that blessings are all around us.  We just need to be looking for them.

Christmas Blessings

Wednesday morning, Matthew, Ruth Ann (my mother-in-law), the kids and I drove to Greenville for my colonoscopy.  Honestly, I was very nervous.  What if the doctor found cancer?  What would that mean for my family?  The Lord is good and filled the office with very sweet, friendly nurses.  The doctor himself was a great man, and he and I had actually lived in the same neighborhood when I was in middle school yet we had never met.  One of the nurses helping with my procedure had gone to the same high school as Matthew, just one grade behind him.  Things went just as I hoped.  The anesthesia was administered, I closed my eyes and opened them about 40 minutes later.  My first thoughts were to tell the nurse, whom I assumed was one of my children, that she should go downstairs and find her own breakfast.  I was sleeping GOOD!!  Matthew assured me that the doctor said everything was great, nothing found in my colon!  Funny how discussing your large intestine can bring such happiness.

The anesthesia used wears off pretty quickly so by the time I was in our car, I just felt that normal sleepiness after a good afternoon nap.  We drove to Waffle House as I was looking forward to some grits and a plain waffle... solid food!!!   These days we don't go many places without glances from strangers, hopefully smiles and not grimaces, and it proved true again as our party of three adults and five children took up two booths in WH.  The food was yummy and we drove on into downtown Greenville.  We were hunting festively decorated Christmas trees!

Upon not finding a parking spot for our Transit van near the Hyatt Regency, we continued on toward the Hampton Inn near the river.  We found trees!

And here's a photo of Rylan to insure that he was along for the trip! 

The next day was Christmas Eve.  It brought tears and joy.  The Christmas Eve service at our church is my favorite of all year.  The carols, reading of the birth of Jesus in the Bible, and concluding with everyone holding candles.  Jesus came to earth to bring light into this dark world!  My mom had driven to GA to be with her mom and sisters for Christmas.  My mother-in-law had driven to NC to spend Christmas with her other son, his family and newest granddaughter.  My heart was missing my Dad very much.  I wrote him a letter.  I will write him a letter each Christmas and around his birthday in June each year.  Writing to him helps me feel that he is still close.

After coming home for the service which was beautiful (Philip was asked to read Luke 2:1-20 and did a wonderful job!), we had our newest tradition... mystery gift swap.  The last two years, I've wrapped up new pajamas in matching paper.  This year, I had ordered "My Adventure Books", the kids' names are written into the stories of some of their favorite TV characters.  So they each picked which wrapping paper they liked best.... 

And Philip got Barbie, Rylan got Disney Princesses, Braewyn got The Lion King, and Juliet got Star Wars.  You can see that only one child was really upset!  They swapped to receive the correct books and were excited to see themselves written in as characters in each story.

Sully's first Christmas!

I don't mind finishing the sugar cookie Santa left behind.

A neighbor gave us this nice 20-pound turkey which he was given free from work.  I decided it was time, I am now 40 years old, that I cook my first turkey!  Matthew always deep-fries them at Thanksgiving, but I prepared this bird and into the oven she went.

Four hours later, and with a much yummier smelling house, we had this beautiful turkey to eat!!  It was fabulous and from the amount of leftovers, will be for a few more days.

Christmas Colonoscopy!

Of all the fun and enjoyable things to add to a person's Christmas week, I don't think a colonoscopy would make anyone's Top 10 list.  However, when you turn 40 with family history of colon cancer and have met your deductible for the year and your husband says you can schedule one within this calendar year, you make an appointment even if the only day available is December 23.  I have had two colonoscopies before (the first, 12 years ago due to bleeding after lifting something too heavy and the second, 7 years ago just to appease my worries after seeing Mom go through colon cancer surgery and recovery). Thankfully I can say both proved that I had a nice, clean, healthy colon!

For the normal heathy person, age 50 is the target time to get your first colonoscopy, but since my Mom was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer at age 50, her doctors recommended my brother and I begin the screening at age 40.  It's really not that bad a deal at all, but I will still ask that you please pray for me on Wednesday at 8:00 am.  Today is prep day... Operation: Clean Pipes!  

However I did want to enjoy a "last supper" so around 10:30 pm last night, this is what I had on my plate.  Lasagna, baked beans, Oreo ice cream and cool whip with pomegranate seeds (oops, my paperwork said no seeds, popcorn or nuts three days prior to the procedure). 

Today's menu included the above items plus a few extras.  Breakfast was Cranberry Sprite.  Lunch was Ginger Ale to drink, beef bouillon as the main course, and peach jello for dessert.  Dinner came the best part... Gatorade spiked with Miralax and an appetizer of Dulcolax pills.  It really brought the Christmas spirit alive for me!  Honestly, the prep would not be so bad if I had not had to feed five children meals and snacks all day.  I would have paid big money to eat a graham cracker with strawberry icing today, but alas, I iced them and passed them on to one of the "starving" children in my house.

The paperwork from this gastroenterology office specified for a "split prep" procedure.  That just means I drank 4 glasses of my spiked Gatorade, one every 30 minutes starting at 6:00 pm.  And in 10 minutes (at 11:00 pm), I begin my first of 4 more glasses, one every 30 minutes, to finish off all 64 oz. of that massive bottle.  Not sure why the separation in drinking sessions because for my other two colonoscopies, I was told to drink 8 oz. of prepared mixture every 30 minutes until it was all gone.  I suppose they've become sympathetic to patients who said they didn't enjoy drinking a whole bottle of Gatorade in 4 hours!

The process is really not that bad, although every 5 years is probably often enough for my liking.  One day of being uncomfortable and a few hours of laying your pride to the side (but you really don't even know what has gone on as the sedation is great!) are definitely worth having the peace of mind that you are good and healthy.  I pray the worse case scenario is that the doctor finds some polyps which are removed at the same time.  The really, really worse case scenario would be finding cancer.  If that were to be the outcome, I pray to have the strength to praise God in the good times and the bad.  The road to recovery my Mom traveled was horrible, but time passes quicker than we realize and I'm so thankful to still have her here 10 years later!!  To be alive and watch my children grow is 100% worth starving myself and using the bathroom a lot in one day.  I'll let you know what happens tomorrow sometime soon.  Cheers!

Not My Timing

It's 4:51 am, perfect time for a post on my blog.  All the kids and Matthew are sleeping peacefully, but me and the baby woke up starving!  I've eaten a bowl of cereal, read an online devotional, and caught up on my friend's blog.  Time for a catch up to my own blog.

From the side bar, you can see that I'm 36 weeks pregnant.  I'm excited to have this new baby but feel pretty miserable.  Not as bad as many people going through worse things, but out of sorts in my own body.  Beached whale comes to mind while laying in bed. Waddling penguin when I'm walking around.  I want the baby to be strong before I give birth, but signs point to me having this little one sooner than later.  The Lord knows this kid's exact birthday and I know things will work out according to plan.  I'm mentally flip-flopping between wanting so much to be done with this pregnancy and on the other hand, I'm still kind of scared to see how me caring for FIVE kids is gonna play out.  I have to remind myself, it's not me caring for five random kids.  I know four of them personally very well.  Just the youngest will be new and we'll all get to know that one together.

Last Monday, I was shocked to be told by my doctor that I'm 3 cm dilated.  I had been feeling contractions off and on each day for a few weeks, but really didn't expect to find out they had been doing anything.  Later this morning, I have another appointment (yup, soon I might have to go twice a week!) with an ultrasound included.  I'm excited to see our baby again and both grandmas get to come this time too!  We'll be given a weight estimate and I'm hoping my cervix can be seen on the ultrasound to find out if the contractions from this past week have increased that 3 cm to 4 cm or more!  Kind of creeps me out to think that my body is getting ready for this baby just to fall out.  I know it's not that simple, but walking time bomb is how I see myself these days.  God's timing is perfect always - even when it doesn't look like it to me.  This time I see it as really good as Ruth Ann, my mother-in-law, is on school break for the next two weeks and Matthew had already asked off work from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day.  I kind of hope the baby comes on January 1st so then I'd get Matthew home for two weeks straight but that calls for me to be pregnant for another ten days.  Equally, I hope not to have the baby until after Christmas morning.  This week is so exciting as we count down the days until Christmas with little people in the house eagerly anticipating that morning of reading the Christmas story from the Bible and then opening presents!  I can't wait to see their faces when they see their presents.

All that said, I can wish for this and wish for that, but it's all just a waiting game for me.  When I'm not feeling tired or sore, it makes for a very exciting season of life.  Welcoming a new baby into the family is one of God's greatest miracles a family can experience.  I'm thankful that He chose us to care for this newest little one. I'll be posting pictures probably within the next two weeks!

Sayonora Kidney Stone!

So my last post found me in pain from a kidney stone.  We left off at 12:39am early Monday morning.  The Loritab helped me sleep for a few hours but then around 3:00am, I woke up again in a good deal of pain and so I took a Toradol pill.  I was able to sleep until the alarm sounded at 6:30am and was not in any pain.  The plan was for me to call the urologist, make an appointment, my dad watch the kids and I would go see my urologist.  Things didn't go as planned.

I did call the doc and left a message about wanting to come in as I had been to the ER the morning before.  My dad did come over around 9:00am and I kept waiting to get a call back to come to the doc.  Hours passed and I was hungry.  Matthew had suggested that I not eat because if my 5mm stone were lodged in a position to be blasted, they would only do it today if I had no food in my stomach.  Well, around 11:00am I decided to eat regardless of the chance to blast the stone.  My doc's office had yet to call back anyway.  A little later I called them only to find out my doctor and her nurse were not even in the office today.  Argh!  Why didn't they tell me that earlier?!

Now the day was half over and I still didn't know if I would see my urologist so I declared a teacher work day.  Philip was happy to play with his friends and Braewyn was content waiting to begin Kindergarten for one more day.  The day continued on as normal until I had gone to the bathroom and then suddenly felt I had to go again.  I was trying to consistently use the strainer to catch that 5mm stone if it should appear.  Well, something finally appeared in the strainer but it was no larger than a grain of sand!!  Was that what caused me all this pain? I had heard that small of stone could bring a grown man to his knees.  I was glad to see something but sad it wasn't 5mm!  So now I wondered if the pain would hit again as the rest of the stone had to still be in there, right?

Around 5:15pm, my urologist's office called asking if I still needed an appointment.  I said I was feeling better but would like to know for sure where my stone was.  I would see the urologist on Friday and told to just take my pain meds until then unless I developed a fever which would grant me a fast pass to the office!

Fast forward to Friday morning (following four pain-free days!) at which time I dropped the kids off at their respective sitters (the best grandparents in the world!!), and headed to the urologist's office with a bagful of things to do (teacher's manuals, sudoko puzzles, a notebook to work on my book... that's for another post!) as I anticipated a lengthy stay.  It was 8:52am when I arrived at the office.

It was actually 9:55am and I was walking out to my car.  Done!  Miraculous event in itself but let me not skip the best part.  So I was seen almost immediately for my x-ray.  From there, I waited 5 minutes, gave a urine sample, had my blood pressure checked and was in the room waiting for the doctore under 15 minutes later.  I've been at this office for HOURS before!  I was shocked.  There was a slight snag as the nurse could not locate my chart and asked if this was the day my appointment was originally booked.  I said yes, and waited for my urologist to arrive. 

After reading about 6 pages of "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan (a must-read book which I need to post about as well!), my doctor entered (I'd love to recommend her to you if you need a urologist in this area; she's awesome!) and first thing to come out of her mouth was, "I'm confused!"  I thought she meant about my chart being lost but then she snapped my x-ray from last May on the screen and pointed out my 5mm stone snuggly in my kidney.  Next she put up my x-ray from that day and said, "There's no stone and you said you didn't pass it. I don't know where it is!"   The first thing to come out of my mouth was, "Thank you, Jesus!  He took that stone away."  We discussed my drinking a lot of lemon juice recently but she said that doesn't shrink stones, just keeps new ones from developing.  I knew God could zap my stone away if He wanted to and I am so thankful He did!! 

There's no doubt in my mind that the Lord worked a miracle in my life.  I am very excited to see what He has in store for my family and me next!  He is a great God and wants so much for you to let Him work in and through your life too.  His plans will just blow you away!!  They do that for me.

The Kidney Stone Strikes Back

Some of you remember that I was attacked by a kidney stone last summer and knew that a second one was present but just laying low, literally in my kidney.  Well funny thing is that second one has now decided to pass just about a month after Matthew suffered his first kidney stone.  People now wonder if there's something in our water!

I woke up yesterday (Sunday) at about 5am with some pretty severe stomach cramps.  I thought it was gas pains so took a Gas-X.  After 30 minutes and not much relief, I woke Matthew to say maybe it was that second kidney stone kicking into gear or maybe something else. I did take a pregnancy test because the fear of an ectopic pregnancy did worry me.  The test was negative.  At 6:30am, I called my Dad to ask if he would come over to watch the kids while Matthew took me to the ER.  Once he arrived at our house, Matthew and I did head to the ER with me breathing like I was in labor.  Not a good feeling, but I wasn't as scared as last time as I had a pretty good feeling it was the kidney stone.

After being admitted to the ER, I was given an IV to administer pain killer and nausea medicines.  The doctor said the blood in my urine sample and the pain site together indicated that I was trying to pass a kidney stone.  Released with a prescription for more pain pills and orders to see my urologist a.s.a.p., we headed home. 

Now it is 12:39am and I'm getting drowsy after taking a Loritab 30 minutes ago.  I went to bed at 9pm but woke up a little bit ago hungry and thinking my last pain pill would be wearing off soon.  I pray to be able to see my urologist in the morning and find out from the x-ray where exactly this stinker kidney stone is. 

The Brooks Academy was scheduled to have it's first day of school today; Braewyn is thrilled to be officially in Kindergarten while Philip would rather have more days of summer vacation.  Looks like Philip will get his wish.  I hope we'll be able to begin on Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.  I really am excited to jump into our third year of homeschooling and teach my two favorite students!  That said I also am glad that the kidney stone is now moving. 

Around Juliet's 1st birthday, Matthew and  I talked and we decided to no longer take birth control and let the Lord decide to bring us another baby or not (they are all gifts from Him anyway).  It has been a test of my  faith knowing that it while left in His timing, the idea of being pregnant and then the kidney stone beginning to move and medicine choices not being as wide as when not pregnant is a scary thing. I'll be thankful when this stone is gone whether by passing it or blasting it if too large too pass.  We will see as the days pass if another Brooks baby is in God's plan or not.  I do trust that my God knows what is best for us.  I just wonder if Philip will be 16, Braewyn 14 and Juliet 10, when that little pregnancy test shows us two pink lines!  That would be an adventure!

The Blessing of a Kidney Stone

If you haven't heard, I was attacked by a kidney stone last week. Sounds pretty bad, I know, but God's hand was all over the situation. Funny how a little thing like a kidney stone can remind me how real my God is! Here are my list of blessings which came from my kidney stone.

1. The kidney stone waited until my last night of my week long beach trip to attack.
2. It hit me at 1:00am when the kids were asleep.
3. My brother Mike and sister-in-law Andrea were still at the condo so they could stay there with four sleeping kids (my three and nephew Holden).
4. I brought a container of formula and bottle for my parents or Mike or Andrea to feed Juliet in case Matthew and I went out to dinner while at the beach.
5. A wonderful brother and sister-in-law who will rummage through our room in the dark looking for said formula and bottle to feed Juliet at 4:00am since she was too sleepy to eat at 11:00pm.
6. The incredible tolerance for pain I have from the Lord. Yes, the drive to the Grand Strand ER was horrible. I felt as bad or worse as I did while Matthew drove me to our hospital when pregnant with Braewyn. When I got there, I was measuring 9cm!
7. My most loving husband who did not ask me, "Do we really need to go to the hospital?" at 1:00am but instead immediately began looking for directions to the hospital on his phone. I guess it's because he's seen me in similar pain as mentioned above.
8. No waiting at the ER! Other than having to fill in papers which only took about 15 minutes but those were excruciating 15 minutes.
9. Meeting very friendly nurses and a doctor at the ER and being told I was a very stoic young woman after they discovered I had a 9mm kidney stone and was actually quite calm by that point.
10. Again my high pain tolerance and stubbornness because I was able to turn down morphine because I knew I wouldn't be able to nurse Juliet the next day if I took it.
11. The 24-hour CVS where we filled my Vicodin prescription but also bought Extra Strength Tylenol.
12. God's blessing of moderate pain during the packing up and cleaning of the condo and during the 5-hour drive home the next day.
13. Matthew's ability to drive home those 5-hours after getting only a few hours of sleep the night before.
14. The ability to see a wonderful urologist Monday after being told that she didn't have an opening until August (she was on-call Monday and they squeezed me in).
15. Incredibly loving mother-in-law who took me to the doctor that Monday morning and ended up staying with me there for about 5 hours (and then watched my kids most of the next day too!).
16. Amazingly NO PAIN from 2:00pm on Monday until after the next day's procedure. (My urologist was agast when she saw my x-ray. "That's the kind of stone that has most people rolling on the floor in pain!")
17. The strength to survive not eating from midnight Tuesday morning until 3:00pm that afternoon.
18. My SUCCESSFUL 11:45am procedure on Tuesday to blast that 9mm kidney stone (which was blocking my uterer!) with 2400 shockwaves. My urologist said if the stone didn't break up with the shockwaves, she would put in a coil from my bladder up to my kidney to decrease the pressure it was causing. Yeah, no coil needed!
19. Incredibly loving mom who drove me to the surgery center on Tuesday morning so Matthew wouldn't have to drive all the way home from work to pick me up.
20. Blessing of a great friend who babysat me and Juliet that Tuesday evening while Matthew, Philip, and Braewyn were at VBS.
21. Juliet's ability to drink from a bottle as I had to pump and dump my breast milk for 24 hours after being under anesthesia.
22. That container of formula which I opened a month ahead of that week because I knew she's probably need some while I was helping with VBS, but in fact she drank a bunch of it during that 24 hours.
23. The fact that VBS was going on last week as Matthew, Philip and Braewyn had dinner provided for them each evening.
24. The fact that my VBS assignment was dispensible (I was a crafts helper and I heard they had plenty!).
25. The realization of how precious my health is and how my Lord has each day of my life in His control.
26. So many friends and family members praying for me throughout the week.
27. Peace which only comes from the Lord in knowing that I have two more kidney stones in my kidney but that if either one begins to travel toward my ureter on it's way to my bladder, the Lord will give me the strength to bear up under it and the friends and family to get my family through it.
29. Now the ability to say, "Yes, having a kidney stone does feel like having a baby!"
30. The knowledge that no, I'm not pregnant as they give all women of child-bearing age a pregnancy test before administering anesthesia!