It's 4:51 am, perfect time for a post on my blog. All the kids and Matthew are sleeping peacefully, but me and the baby woke up starving! I've eaten a bowl of cereal, read an online devotional, and caught up on my friend's blog. Time for a catch up to my own blog.
From the side bar, you can see that I'm 36 weeks pregnant. I'm excited to have this new baby but feel pretty miserable. Not as bad as many people going through worse things, but out of sorts in my own body. Beached whale comes to mind while laying in bed. Waddling penguin when I'm walking around. I want the baby to be strong before I give birth, but signs point to me having this little one sooner than later. The Lord knows this kid's exact birthday and I know things will work out according to plan. I'm mentally flip-flopping between wanting so much to be done with this pregnancy and on the other hand, I'm still kind of scared to see how me caring for FIVE kids is gonna play out. I have to remind myself, it's not me caring for five random kids. I know four of them personally very well. Just the youngest will be new and we'll all get to know that one together.
Last Monday, I was shocked to be told by my doctor that I'm 3 cm dilated. I had been feeling contractions off and on each day for a few weeks, but really didn't expect to find out they had been doing anything. Later this morning, I have another appointment (yup, soon I might have to go twice a week!) with an ultrasound included. I'm excited to see our baby again and both grandmas get to come this time too! We'll be given a weight estimate and I'm hoping my cervix can be seen on the ultrasound to find out if the contractions from this past week have increased that 3 cm to 4 cm or more! Kind of creeps me out to think that my body is getting ready for this baby just to fall out. I know it's not that simple, but walking time bomb is how I see myself these days. God's timing is perfect always - even when it doesn't look like it to me. This time I see it as really good as Ruth Ann, my mother-in-law, is on school break for the next two weeks and Matthew had already asked off work from Christmas Eve through New Year's Day. I kind of hope the baby comes on January 1st so then I'd get Matthew home for two weeks straight but that calls for me to be pregnant for another ten days. Equally, I hope not to have the baby until after Christmas morning. This week is so exciting as we count down the days until Christmas with little people in the house eagerly anticipating that morning of reading the Christmas story from the Bible and then opening presents! I can't wait to see their faces when they see their presents.
All that said, I can wish for this and wish for that, but it's all just a waiting game for me. When I'm not feeling tired or sore, it makes for a very exciting season of life. Welcoming a new baby into the family is one of God's greatest miracles a family can experience. I'm thankful that He chose us to care for this newest little one. I'll be posting pictures probably within the next two weeks!
1 comment:
very soon, my friend :)
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