Another Off Day

That's what I was told when I picked Philip up from his BSF Children's Program class. "We're not sure why, but Philip had another off day," his teacher informed me. She said he did not want to put his towel away after Quiet Time and really didn't want to go outside to play either. When I heard this I was actually inches away from sobbing myself as it was another off day for me too and one in just a long line of off days at that.

This week I found myself AGAIN in a serious rut of feeling like I was drowning beneath the responsibilities of raising two children, being a loving wife, maintaining a home, and the extras in my life outside of the house. I was failing at everything I thought and just wanted to gain a little headway to get myself above water. It was to the point I didn't even know where to begin with the housework and both kids were on my last nerve by just being themselves (an energetic little boy trying to save the world like Batman and a beautiful baby girl who rightfully so needs love and attention still most of the time). I would have things planned out only to get sidetracked either by my lack of direction or fatigue setting in. Errands and places to go only made the situation worse as I would then get frazzled by needing to dress and feed all three of us and get in the car usually with one or both children crying in my face.

Well, I type this with renewed energy and abundant love in my heart for my Lord who faithfully has restored my strength by again giving me His. Throughout these last trying days, I have always known where the solution lie or rather in WHOM did the solution lie! I am promised that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13), but it is never shoved upon us. Christ patiently waits for us to come to Him. The Lord has been speaking to me a lot recently through my Bible study lessons and some hymns I sang recently. This year in my BSF class we are studying the book of Matthew. It has helped me to clearly see who Jesus really is and how that impacts my life personally. Last Sunday night at church, we sang "I Need Thee Every Hour" which was just what I needed.

I need Thee every hour, Most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee, O I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.
I need Thee, O I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee, O I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, teach me Thy will;
Thy promises so rich in me fulfill.
I need Thee, O I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.
I need Thee, O I need Thee; Every hour I need Thee!
O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

And yesterday at Bible study, we sang "Have Thine Own Way, Lord", and it also did wonders to remind me how life should be.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master, today!
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
As in Thy presence humbly I bow.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
Power, all power, surely is Thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.

Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Hold o’er my being absolute sway!
Fill with Thy Spirit ’till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me.

I know that life will not be perfect every day from here on out, but I will try even more diligently to seek Jesus first daily as He is my source of strength and direction. I want my life to be a testimony of His greatness.