Whirlwind Weekend, Part II

Sunday morning, I did last minute packing for the second time in one weekend. This time there was an overnight bag for Matthew and I and another for Philip as we could be separating after church. It worked out well that our youth choir had a fund-raiser lunch at the church so we ate there, fed Philip too, and then handed him over (and all of his stuff!!) to our youth pastor Jason and his wife Julie for the next 24 hours. I was completely comfortable with them as our choice to keep him, but being our first overnight trip away from him, I was still a little hesistant. About 1:15pm, Matthew and I left church and headed to Asheville, NC.

We arrived at the Grove Park Inn around 2:30pm. I was so excited to see this grand old hotel of which I had heard great things, and it fulfilled my expectations and then some! Matthew and I were attending a Celebrate Your Marriage conference in the hotel as a belated 6th anniversary present to ourselves. I love conferences and thankfully Matthew will attend them because he knows how much it means to me!

We hurriedly checked-in, registered for the conference, ran up to our room to drop off the overnight back, and quickly back to the ballroom in which the conference has held. We made it back just as they were starting. The conference began with Jay and Laura Laffoon (husband & wife; authors and speakers) leading the group (probably about 500 people) in a few songs. You would recognize the secular pop music tunes, but Jay gave us new words to sing (i.e. "She's a brick house" became "This is God's house"). I was having a ball while Matthew on the other hand was remaining his cool, calm and collected self. Again, thank you for going with me, baby!

This first session ran until 4:30pm and focused on the question, "What is the purpose of marriage?" Jay and Laura's answer, "Becoming one: physically, emotionally and spiritually."
They focused on the Bible verses, "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one" (Mark 10:6-8).

Some key statements included:

• Am I thinking about my marriage as if it is a competition?
• What do I do every day to make my spouse a priority?
• It's not about him, and it's not about me. It's about us.
• God brought us together to create something better.
• Is the decision I'm making now going to make us more or less one?

View from our hotel room.

Next, we made a dinner reservation at The Blue Ridge Room (inside the hotel), and returned to our room for a very short 20 minute rest. The hotel is built into the side of a mountain so entering the main lobby we took the elevator down to our 8th floor room! It was hard to figure out at first, but if you ever visit the Grove Park Inn you'll understand. The hotel opened a world class spa in the last few years so on the way back to dinner, we walked past it just so I could dream about going in for a massage one day (I'll be sure my masseuse won't talk!).

Dinner was like from a dream itself. You can see what a view we had. The dinner was set up buffet style, but like something I had only seen on television. There were two rooms of food all in silver warming trays; porkloin with blackberry sauce, pecan-crusted trout, shrimp, mussels, pasta, balsamic vinegar marinated grilled vegetables, cheese, crackers, fruit, smoked fish, salads, bread, etc., etc., etc.!! And two tables of cakes, pies, ice cream and toppings! It was a little bit of heaven on earth. But thank the Lord we don't have to pay to get into heaven because that dinner sure took a good chunk from the checkbook!


Jeff Allen and Jay & Laura Laffoon.

By 6:30pm, we were walking back into the ballroom for the entertainment portion of the conference: stand-up comedian Jeff Allen. This was definitely Matthew's favorite part of the conference as he didn't stop laughing hardly at all. It was a great change to be able to enjoy a comedian without thinking, "Will this cross the line?"



We wandered around the hotel grounds for a short while before turning in for the night. We were both wiped out from our activity-filled weekend.

Monday morning, we packed and checked out of the room before picking up some milk and a danish in the lobby (it's not like any lobby you've ever seen, trust me!). The first session today began at 9:00am. Dr. Jim Henry, recently retired pastor of First Baptist Orlando, taught us how to see our spouse as "a beautiful piece of art created by God". He had us read, "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner (can be translated "fine china") and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers" (1 Peter 3:7). This verse he stated could be taken for wives toward their husbands as well. He told us wives to tell our husbands how much we admire them, and recommended that as couples each day we say "I love you" twice and share one 8 second kiss!

At 10:00am, Lisa Whelchel was introduced as our second speaker of the morning. I was excited to hear her speak as I remember her from my childhood. You might too if I say she starred as Blair on "The Facts of Life"! Lisa gave a short-version of her life story but mainly focused on meeting and marrying her husband. She and Steve were friends for several years as they both attended a prayer group at the home of Stormie Omartian (author of The Power of a Praying Wife, etc.), but complete opposites. She said in fact she had no romantic feelings toward him at all. Through several events that can only be explained as God-ordained, they did fall in love and married. The first year was great, but years 2-7 were horrible. They did have 3 children in 3 years but mainly their personalities made things impossible. She took on the controlling, decision-making role and he the passive, submissive role: the complete opposite of a Godly marriage. God worked in their lives and finally helped her to see that Steve was anointed to be head of their family and she must be his helpmate.

I really felt convicted to try to follow her example because I am actually quite impulsive and quick to forget that I should consult with Matthew about things. God has blessed me with a husband who sees things rationally more so than emotionally. He knows when I have too much on my plate, looks farther down the road than I care to, and reminds me "Why worry when you can't do anything about it anyway?" Thank you Lord for a spouse perfect just for me. Lisa said that we should trust in God and not our emotions. That is something Matthew displays in his life too, and I am trying to get better at it.

There was one last session titled "Understanding Saying I Do". Jay and Laura split it into three sections: "Saying I Do to the concept of marriage" (we have to believe that we are enough for each other, and never question God's gift for me), "Saying I Do to the circumstances of marriage (no circumstances should alter my commitment level to our marriage, marriage is not disposable), and "Saying I Do to the covenant of marriage." Jay illustrated the last of the three sections with the statement that if he dies before Laura, he wants her to place a sign reading "I Did!" on his chest in the coffin. As in, he did keep his covenant promise of marriage until death do us part.

We concluded our wonderful getaway with lunch at Fuddrucker's before a quick drive back to Spartanburg and our little munchkin.