Wednesday morning, Matthew, Philip and I went for my 2nd baby appointment for Baby Brooks 2. I've actually been going through some mixed feelings with this pregnancy which I'm finding out from friends to be quite normal. With my first pregnancy, everything was so exciting and I kept track of every detail. I could hardly keep my mind off thinking about the tiny person growing inside me. I didn't mind all the aches, pains and nausea as long as the baby was healthy.
This time is different in that Philip keeps me busy and the aches and pains are more so an annoyance than something to celebrate (even though I should be celebrating). Also there is the whole dilemma of bringing another child into the picture and wondering how it will affect my love for Philip. For a mother of just one child, it's hard to imagine how your heart will enlarge to cover two child equally. Thankfully, I've had several friends in the last few days tell me they felt the same way and it just miraculously happens. When you see the second (or any additional) child, you just fall in love all over again and each child has his or her own special place in your heart. I suppose just knowing my thoughts have been felt by others helps.
Anyway, back to the appointment. I went in not too excited but just glad to be there. During this earlier stage of pregnancy (10 weeks), I can't feel the baby at all (although I'm already in maternity pants -- something is obviously growing!) so there is not much connection. Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant all together and others I wonder if the baby is really there at all (albeit the maternity pants should give me a clue). When the nurse put the jelly on my stomach and then started rubbing the ultrasound tool around, I thought for a second that she wouldn't find anything. But suddenly, there it was... shoo shoo, shoo shoo, shoo shoo! Even having been pregnant before, I asked without thinking, "Is that the baby?" It just amazes me when the heartbeat comes through loud and clear. There IS someone growing inside my body! PRAISE GOD! Matthew was holding Philip and asked if he heard the baby's heartbeat. Philip was smiling and said, "Beep beep beep." It was a very special moment.
After waiting for 40 minutes, the doctor and nurse were in and out of the room in about 6 minutes. In a month, we'll go back and do the whole thing over.
4 comments:
I'm glad your appointment went well! Hearing and seeing the baby always makes everything seem more real. Just think in a couple of months you'll feel it squirming inside you. Hey . . . Baby Brooks 2 is our baby's name! Haha. Just kidding! No really, it's her name. We've got to think of a name for this child.
I feel for you, Kim. Right now I can't imagine going through a pregnancy again. You're lucky that some days you forget you're pregnant! Keeps your mind off things at least. But I know you will love this baby just as much as Philip. Your heart will continue to grow bigger and bigger with each child, I'm sure. We're so happy for you guys and we can't wait to meet Baby Brooks 2!
So happy for you guys, what a blessing!!! I am with Casey, I feel for you (& Lori too)! I am so scared to have another one (or or three, lol) and having to chase the girls around. I can't inmagine how hard that is. But we are going to see our Dr. on the 23rd so keep us in your prayers.
~C~
I had to smile when I read your feelings about having a second child. That also haunted me through the second pregnancy, wondering if I could ever love another one as much as the first. Then I found out I was having Twins. God knows just how to make you fall in love equally with all of them, no matter how many you end up having! HA. It's a gift God gives all mothers,like making them look like angels when they sleep, so you don't get mad when they are naughty! Good luck and we'll be anxious to hear about your angel next month. You might even know if it's a girl or boy! Just take one day at a time and make sure to rest! Love, Valerie
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